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Dear Angry Black Women

Dear Angry Black Women (and Petty Princess),

Let me preface my letter by saying I am not writing because I believe you need to be enlighten or because I believe you are angry. I wish men would cease referring to you as the angry black woman just because you choose to expose your feelings.  I am not a woman and in no way am I trying to prove that I am able to identify with what it means to be a woman. I can only hope that you are blessed with a man who offers support to walk tall, with your shoulders back and head high. I hope these men become yet another step on the ladder to help you climb the wall of gender-based inequitable pressure society calls daily life. To call it unfair, for lack of a better word, would be an injustice.

Now, on to the open letter addressed by The Petty Princess as Dear Idiots and Thirsty Men.  You provided insight revealing that you were having a bad day. That you, being an only child with OCD, was bothered that the man of your interest created some sort of chaos in your natural order.  On top of that, he took what was yours without replacing it. Though, to his defense, he didn’t have any money.

That is what you stated, but this is what I heard: “I’ve had a bad day caused by an unrelated issue. In exchange, I attempted to channel that energy on to someone else.”

I don’t know if the right decision was to get rid of this guy you refer to just because he drank your last beer without replacing it or better yet, asking for permission even to drink the last beer. Maybe your choice was right. Nevertheless, it’s tough to accept that you kicked this guy out over one selfish act. We have all been guilty of being selfish at one time or another. Every man is not the perfect Prince Charming. We have to stop clinging on to these fairy tales that we were promised as kids. In reality, maybe you were not as interested in him as you believe you were. I like to imagine that when it comes to a person that we want to have a future with; we become more flexible, more tolerant and willing when it comes to communicating and overcoming issues. No, I don’t mean to let someone walk over you; a man is going to do to a woman what that woman allows. However, there is a difference between being naive or settling and willing to fight through your differences.

Maybe this guy needs to grow some more; maybe he does lack the ability to exemplify being a real man. Does that mean he is not able to teach his son how to be a man? I highly doubt that this assessment could be completed by this one incident. If this man is in his child’s life then he is already doing better than any men who have chosen not to be in the lives of their children. Granted, there is a lot more to being a father than merely being present but give him so credit. We are so quick to place judgment on others instead of encouragement. I feel that this issue was explored unjustly and caused your relationship to be prematurely sentenced to death.

I’m not a professional. I can only provide advice from previous experiences. What I do know is that all the cliché quotes that you hear about patience are more than likely true. I know what you are thinking “yeah, yeah, patience, I got it.” Sure, we all get tired of hearing this frayed advice but there is a reason it has lasted the test of time.  Patience is what allows love to see through the storm.  Patience is what allows us to make conscious decisions when communicating within relationships. Patience allows us to grow while simultaneously learning. Saint Augustine supported this advice best when saying, “Patience is the companion of wisdom.”  I hope the wisdom you acquire through time will inspire you to become the Patient Princess.

Sincerely,

The Flawed Gentleman

Click the link to read Dear Idiots and Thirsty Men: Link




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